From: The office of the vice-chancellor
Subject: Action Short of a Strike
To: All members of academic and related staff
It has been brought to my attention that a number of members of staff are currently taking part in the AUT Action Short of a Strike. Until now, this university has operated an "amnesty" in relation to this dereliction of duty, but I am now writing to say that as from today percentage deductions will be made from salaries in a manner that corresponds to the chosen "action" and its degree of "shortness" from a strike.
Four categories of "action" and "shortness" are listed below.
1. Action Short of a Strike that involves a refusal to mark all student essays and examination papers will be deemed action "very close" to a strike and will attract a 30 per cent deduction from salary.
2. Action Short of a Strike that involves a refusal to carry out all official administrative duties will be deemed "fairly close" to a strike and attract a 20 per cent deduction from salary.
3. Action Short of a Strike that involves a refusal to respond to any written, telephone or electronic messages from secretaries or heads of department will be deemed "quite a long way" from a strike and will attract a 10 per cent deduction from salary.
4. Action Short of a Strike that involves a general failure to carry out academic duties of all kinds in a satisfactory manner will be deemed to be so far from strike action as to be as good as indistinguishable from non-strike action and will therefore not attract any penalty.
Please keep this letter to hand for future reference. It should be filed under "Action Short of a Dismissal".
Yours truly, The Vice-Chancellor (signed in his non-industrial action absence by Mrs Dilworth)