We regret to report that one of our leading academics was found stabbed to death round the back of Willetts College late last night. Dr J.?B. Wilcox, or ¡°Brad¡± as he was known to his adoring students, had only recently received three student-based awards for excellent teaching, awards that described his second-year geology lectures on the movement of tectonic plates as ¡°laugh-a-minute sessions¡± and spoke in glowing terms of his ¡°deep sonorous voice¡±, ¡°fashion-savvy clothes¡± and ¡°rugged demeanour¡±.

Although the police continue to search for the motive behind this savage slaying, Louise Bimpson, the Corporate Director of our ever-expanding HR department, has rushed to dispel the rumour that Dr Wilcox¡¯s murder may be related to the findings from a new Sheffield Hallam University survey of 329 lecturers that concluded that teaching awards made by students ¡°do more to sow divisions between academics than they do to drive up academic standards¡±. They left unnominated academics ¡°feeling demoralised¡±.

Ms Bimpson said that she preferred to regard the brutal assassination as ¡°one of those things that can happen in the best organised university going forward¡±. Neither did she attach any special significance to the further news that Dr Wilcox¡¯s severed head had been mounted in a prominent position above the main entrance to the new Jo Johnson Learning and Teaching Centre.

Related news: Should guns be allowed in the lecture room? See page 97.

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¡°Will she, won¡¯t she?¡±

That is the question currently on the lips of all those who follow the weekly scientific blog posted by Dr Mike Goshworthy of our Department of Social Psychology. And that¡¯s a lot of people. In just three months, Mike has seen the readership of his science blog leap from a mere half-dozen uninterested colleagues to its present enthralled audience of several thousand.

Dr Goshworthy told our reporter Keith Ponting (30) that he attributed this ¡°gratifying news¡± to the influence of science writer Ben Lillie who, in a contribution to a recent collection called Science Blogging: The Essential Guide, had recommended that scientific bloggers should beware of defaulting to the detached, analytic style appropriate to journal articles. They should instead seek to engage readers through ¡°personal storytelling¡± and a readiness to describe how they are ¡°feeling¡±.

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To this end, Dr Goshworthy had recently digressed from a lengthy discussion of the use of analysis of variance in the statistical determination of inter-group conformity in order to tell his readers that he was feeling ¡°distinctly downhearted¡± because of concerns he had about some possible dalliance between his wife and the builder he had employed to remedy a plaster defect in his bedroom ceiling.

Readers were then treated to some further detailed discussion about the possibility of supplementing analysis of variance with Hotelling¡¯s T test before Dr Goshworthy returned to personal storytelling. ¡°Guess what I found when I returned home last night?¡± he wrote in the final sentence of yesterday¡¯s blog: ¡°My wife was sitting at the piano playing a polonaise and there were the remains of a savoury sausage in the fridge.¡±

Are Dr Goshworthy¡¯s suspicions well founded and is he right to use Hotelling¡¯s T test to supplement his analysis of variance? (To be continued.)

lolsoc@dircon.co.uk