University of Poppleton

BA in plagiarism studies

Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies. Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies.

Graduates from this course may look forward to obtaining well-paid employment in many of the sectors of commerce that currently place a heavy reliance on plagiarism: daytime television (presenting and producing); takeaway pizza advertising; the preparation of political party manifestos; writing chancellors' degree-day speeches; devising "family and children" statements for discredited politicians; and the compilation of mantras and litanies.

All students will be required to take compulsory courses in the following subject areas:

Constructive photocopying; intermediate and advanced cut-and-paste techniques; disguising critical sources;

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counterfeiting names and dates; evading electronic detection tools;

bypassing attributions; wholesale downloading; dubious citations;

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makey-uppy quotations; intermediate and advanced paraphrasing; general principles of collusion; and submitting other people's work: theory and practice.

Students on this course will be examined by tutors who are specially trained in the detection of originality. Any sign of such a characteristic in submitted work will attract serious penalties.

In the words of our chief external examiner: "Graduates from this course will not be expected to have a single original idea in their heads."

Successful undergraduate students may consider applying for a place on our newly founded postgraduate course in advanced and contagious plagiarism: MPhil bubonic plagiarism.

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We look forward to hearing from you. We look forward to hearing from you.

The Vice-Chancellor (signature copied by Mrs Dilworth)