INSIDE TRACK

An occasional column to keep you abreast of who's on the move in your academic field

DEEP BLUES

Poppleton University suffered a major blow last month when all 13 members of its scuba diving department left to take up appointments at the new University of Weston-super-Mare.

Professor D. W. J. Nemo, former head of the Poppleton department, insisted that the decision to move was taken on "purely academic grounds".

He said: "Although Poppleton has fully recognised the importance of this new field of intellectual inquiry, its promise to provide institutional backing for the practical side of the course by flooding the science park has not so far been fulfilled. In our discipline, it is vital that leading academics have the research opportunity to spend a least part of their time with their heads underwater."

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NAME SAKE

Old Sarum University has taken a hit after the decision by Professor D. Sparkey, its director of history, to take up the post of head of historical studies at Uttoxeter University. Professor Sparkey said he regretted leaving Old Sarum but explained that his move was in response to the university's repeated misspelling of his name in recruitment and promotional literature.

UNDER DEVELOPMENT

There were shocked faces at Dunwich University last week when it was discovered that all 26 members of its Staff Development team had been lured to the City University of Poppleton.

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The head of staff development, Janet Jackson (no relation), explained that the move was a consequence of recent staff cutbacks at Dunwich. She said: "Once we realised that the number of staff development officers at Dunwich exceeded the number of tenured academics, the move became inevitable."

CORRECTION
In our last Inside Track column, we reported that Dr Piercemuller of the department of media and cultural studies at Poppleton University had been "poached". We now understand from the Poppleton vice-chancellor that in fact Dr Piercemuller had been "roasted".