Well, that concludes the business for this year's Examinations Board. All that remains is to ask our external examiner for his comments on this year's papers. So that's over to you, Bill.

Thanks a lot, Gordon. Well, let me congratulate you all in the Department of Media and Cultural Studies on another fine set of results. Well done all round!

Thanks a lot, Bill. Incisive as always. We can now ask Maureen to draw up the final results list with the appropriate class divisions and place that list on the departmental notice board. Any other points? Yes, Maureen?

One very small thing, Professor Lapping.

Go ahead.

You've asked me to draw up a list with the appropriate class divisions.

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That's right.

But there aren't any. The board appears to have given everyone a first-class degree.

An exceptional year, Maureen. Quite exceptional. Some absolutely top-class papers.

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But won't some people feel that their first is not worth so much if everyone else also has a first?

Of course they would, Maureen. And that's exactly why the board decided last year to introduce the idea of a starred first as a way of showing just such differentiation.

But this year everyone appears to have a starred first.

So they do. But too late now. Let us rather rejoice at this year's exceptional results and turn our attention at a later date to the ways in which we might introduce some greater degree of differentiation.

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What sort of differentiation?

Maureen. Sometimes you fail to appreciate the manifold ways in which we can go on recognising our ever-rising standards. The answer's staring you in the face.

Not a double-starred first?

In excelsis gloria, Maureen. In excelsis gloria. Now, unless anyone else wants these remaining biscuits?